Humans of ME/CFS
Nearly 10 years ago I was working full time and living life like everyone else. I became ill with a chest infection which seemed to linger. After that I began to struggle. I would sleep in my lunch break at work, come home and go back to sleep as I was totally exhausted.
I went home sick from work and went to see my GP. I was bed bound for quite a while. I had countless tests, but received no diagnosis. My employer wasn't happy that a diagnosis wasn't offered and they eventually let me go.
I continued to have more tests, and over 12 months after onset I got my diagnosis: ME/CFS. At the time I didn't know much about it, and didn't receive any help or support.
I haven't worked since I was diagnosed and I have been shocked and appalled by people's attitudes towards the disease. I have been accused of being a liar because I look okay. Unfortunately, I only leave the house when I'm in a fit state to do so. The rest of the time I'm housebound. My husband became my full time carer about 18 months ago as overtime my condition has gotten worse.
I struggled with my diagnosis and it took a very long time to accept my lot. I couldn't get my head around the limitations that I now face. I have had to grieve for the person that I once was, as she no longer exists. However, the me that replaced her, although physically restricted in so many ways, is definitely more able to cope with my condition and the daily struggles that us ME/CFS sufferers face on a daily basis.
I'm housebound most of the time, and if I do go out, it will only be with my husband to places that I deem 'safe'.
I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression about 5 years ago, and I'm now being tested for arthritis. The list of illnesses and symptoms seems to be growing all of the time, however, I'm still here and still fighting.
I have lost a lot people from my life along the way, negativity certainly isn't helpful! Although, I've made some amazing new friends that totally understand and are there for me no matter what!
So, am I happy with my lot now? I accept it and I find happiness and pleasure in the little things. My outlook on life has completely changed and I honestly believe it's for the better.