Humans of ME/CFS

I was a rock-climber, a musician, a martial artist, and a professional juggler in a circus. After a 25-foot fall on my back during a circus rehearsal, I began to have many strange symptoms which were eventually diagnosed as ME/CFS.

I work from home in IT (information technology) these days. Flu-like pain is nearly continuous. There is a sense of uncomfortable pressure in my head most of the time, too. I usually I can’t go out to do much, because the sense of being crushed by an immense weight of exhaustion is too much for me.

Buddhist meditation is my main life-line, along with guitar, piano and singing. I have to focus on what is positive so that I don’t panic and fall into despair. It is a terribly lonesome road, with constant sickness, pain and exhaustion.
I long for the sun of vitality to come back one day so that I can make a full contribution in this life. Sometimes, I feel like I have become impossibly ancient, like about 600 years old. Imagining all the people suffering even worse than I do helps me feel compassion rather than fear. Fear by itself is just horrible, but compassion can be really beautiful. We can sing in our chains.